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Preparing For Divorce

After finding out that your husband has had an affair, you may be tempted to file for a divorce immediately, but it's a good idea to slow down and spend a little time preparing for a divorce.  Pre-divorce planning allows you to make sound decisions and avoid some of the post-divorce pitfalls.   Below are some things to think about before you even file for a divorce.

Get All You Paperwork Together

The amount of information required for a divorce can seem overwhelming, so it makes sense to begin gathering all of it together as soon as possible.  Some of the things that you will need to begin the divorce process are:

·         The names and social security numbers of all parties involved, including you and your husband, as well as your children's,

·         Account numbers, addresses, and phone numbers for all of your assets and debts,

·         Account information for bank accounts, credit cards, loans, stocks, and bonds,

·         Deed and mortgage information for your home and other real estate,

·         Title and registration information for vehicles and other property. 

It also helps to have tax statements for the last three years, as well as pay stubs and employment information.  If there is a business involved, get a copy of the tax records, assets, and debts.  Other important documents to make copies of are prenuptial agreements, post-nuptial agreements, wills, and powers of attorney.

Understand Your Financial Situation

You also need to get a grasp of what you will be entitled to when you get divorced. The information you collect in getting your paperwork together will help you immensely at this stage.  To roughly figure the value of the marital estate, you will need to subtract all the debts from the total value of the assets.  Assets include the equity on any property, automobiles, bank account, stocks, bonds, etc.  Debts will include mortgages, loans, credit cards, and liens.

It's also a good idea to keep a budget of your income and expenses when preparing for a divorce is. This will help provide documentation for determining the amount of support that may be awarded, as well as give you an idea of what it will take to live on after your divorce.

Become Financially Solvent

Since divorce has a way of wrecking a person's credit, it's a good idea to see where you stand beforehand by getting a copy of your credit report.  If your credit is poor, you should start paying down your debt and cleaning up the bad marks on your credit file.  If you don't currently have a credit history, apply for a credit card in your name only.  Establishing your credit while you're married is much easier than after you get divorced.  

If you and your husband have already split, you may want to put a freeze on joint credit accounts so that debts won't build.  On a similar note, don't allow your spouse to take out more debt, or convince you to refinance the marital home.  This just further entangles the finances and leaves both parties with larger debt liabilities after divorce.  

It is also a good idea to open a checking account in your own name to safeguard your finances. This will allow you to pay expenses without having to worry about your spouse finding out or taking the money.  You can use this account to build a reserve to cover emergency expenses, attorney fees, rent, deposits, utilities, etc. If you don't want your spouse to know about this account, just have the statements sent to a PO box.  Just remember that the money in this account can be considered a marital asset and subject to division in the divorce.

Make Sure That You Can Provide For Yourself

It's important to be sure that you can financially survive after your divorce.  If you are currently employed, don't quit your job.  If you aren't working right now, polish your resume and begin to think about what type of work you would like to do.  You might also consider returning to school to get training, either to advance your career or enter the workforce.   

Consider Insurance Coverage

If you are covered on your spouse's insurance, get complete medical and dental check-ups done for you and the children before you file for a divorce.  It's important to have any necessary procedures done now while you are covered. Begin checking into getting your own coverage for health, automobile, and home, and take these expenses into account for your post-divorce budget.

Document Your Valuables

It's a good idea to videotape your possessions, including the contents of your house, your vehicles, and other property. If things end up missing during the divorce, this can provide proof of their existence. It can also help jog your memory when it comes time to divide the marital estate. If your spouse is volatile, you might consider getting a safety deposit box to store valuable documents and jewelry.  The same thing goes for sentimental items that might get destroyed.  These items can be stored with a friend or family member until everything is settled.  

Don't Rock The Boat

Article by Tracy Achen, author of Divorce 101: A Woman's Guide To Divorce, the ultimate resource to help women navigate the legal process and get the best outcome from their divorce.